I finished my revisions on BATTLE OF THE NETWORK ZOMBIES on monday and sent that bad boy off to my agent and an author friend to slash and hack until I’ve got something that resembles a readable book. There’s at least one chapter in there that’s such a word salad, they’ll need a crouton trail to find their way out. Sorry guys!

This was one of those “books from hell” you see authors bitching about, endlessly, as we have a tendency to do about a variety of things. If we were the sorts to keep our mouths shut or our fingers clasped tightly together in prayer or around our dicks, or whatever, the world would be much less contentious, but also less fun.

Anyways, back to BOOKS FROM HELL.

Or mine, specifically. It started out benign enough with an outline for my publisher and an idea for an homage to Agatha Christie manor mysteries and sleazy reality shows, oddly enough. I happen to love them and since my books have changed framework from book to book, I thought I’d keep that up, never being my intention to write an urban fantasy in the first place. Happy Hour is probably the closest to the genre, with Road Trip being more of a quest fantasy. Battle is neither, it’s basically a cozy mystery with craziness and relationships and foul language, so if you dig those things you’re going to love it.

So what’s the frickin’ problem, you ask? Well, right after I finished the sample chapter and outline, I figured I had some time to goof off and write a spec book. I talked about that one quite a lot. The Dark Rites of Joe Barkley, a third person multiple perspective book about demons and angels living among us and their babies that act as time shares for visiting spirits. It’s also about the human stories that go on around them, drug dealing, blackmailers, octogenarian dominatrixes. Which as I’m reading it over, is unquestionably the best writing I’ve done (again, not really an urban fantasy, per se., but what can you do? It’s more like a soap opera). But it’s not finished.

As fall gave way to the holidays, I started realizing, “Oh shit, I’ve got a book coming due.” So I put my baby aside and went back to Amanda thinking she’d be easy to jump back into and snark away.

Turns out, not so much.

It took me three months. to get a third of the book written. Three torturous months. Every word like pulling my finger nails out. Then, after Romantic Times in April, I finally was able to buckle down and get the words down.

So what was the problem? It’s a matter of voice and mood, I’ve come to believe. Joe, the protagonist of the new project is actually a nice guy, and somewhat heroic. Amanda is a nihilist, through and through. It was a huge stretch to change my mind up and get back to her dark shaded viewpoint. It’s also something I have to be in a mood for.

A bad mood.

So I’m hoping that I’ve pulled it off in the home stretch, I know I’ve been sufficiently grumpy. So much so that I’ve been neglecting my poor blog and even my Glamazombies, who’ve gone so quiet I wonder if the majority haven’t abandoned ship.

Today, though, I’m gathering all my notes and ideas for a script I’m working on with another author, no paranormal elements as of yet, though I imagine some magical realism and over-the-top craziness will filter its way into this pitch black comedy.

Then I’m pulling together my YA proposal and sample chapters for my agent to pore over and figure out whether I can sell it. Lord knows I could use a sale.

Anyways. I’ll leave you with two things. The recipe I’ve been talking about on Twitter and Facebook. Which is where I’m at mostly. And a video for my new favorite workout song.

Cheers!

Banana Oatmeal Chocolate/Butterscotch Chip Cookies

1 banana mashed (medium to large)
1/4 cup butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/4 cup flour
2 cups oatmeal
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1/4 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1/4 cup butterscotch chips
cooking spray

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Cream first 5 ingredients in mixer. In a second bowl mix the dry ingredients. Add to mixer and incorporate. Stir in chips. Scoop the dough up in heaping tablespoonfuls and place about two inches apart on a sprayed cookie sheet. Bake for 18 minutes or until slightly brown.

They look like big drop biscuits and are 115 calories each, to be exact.

What are y’all doin? Reading? Watching?