Oh yes. It’s that time of year. The time of year where urban fantasists hone in on a good thing at the Romantic Times Booklovers Convention. This time it’s in Orlando, so you know we had to build in a few extra days for Disney debauchery. Caroline’s particularly excited about Animal Kingdom. Me too, really. I loves me some animals, way more than, say, noisy skateboarding neighbor kids. But that’s beside the point. I thought I’d give you my schedule in the form of some predictions.

Tuesday night, we’ll arrive late with Richelle Mead in tow, grab some snacks and head on over to the Dane/Hart suite party (sweet party?) for some rock star room destruction. The next morning though, when we peel ourselves at of the puddle of vomit, we’ve got some debating to do. You see, I don’t have a single panel scheduled for Wednesday.

Should I…

a) Hang out and mingle? Talk shit? Flirt?
b) Go see my friends’ panels and heckle them mercilessly from the front row?
c) Ditch the fuck out and go to Universal Islands of Adventure?

It’s indeed a conundrum. Especially when we have to be back for the Ellora’s Cave Fantasy Party with the patented AND EROTIC river of chocolate sins–people wait all year to dunk their junk in its dark currents. I’m just sayin’. Plus, it’s looking like a dinner of some import is being hatched. Plans are being made, people! Plans!

On Thursday at 10:30 AM ’til 11:30, The League of Reluctant Adults will dazzle and delight fans at Club RT, which, this year, I’m told is like a 24 hour rave, or something involving ecstacy (could they mean the sexy kind?). Anyways, here’s the deal. Free sony eReader. Free books. Free love. No one’s backed out as far as I know, so we gots: Mario Acevedo, Michele Bardsley, Dakota Cassidy, Moi, Stacia Kane, Jackie Kessler, Caitlin Kittredge, Richelle Mead, Michelle Rowen, Jeane C. Stein and my partner in crime Jaye Wells.

Right after, some of us will be rushing to our first panel…

URBAN FANTASY: I’LL LOVE YOU … FOREVER: WRITING A SERIES IN URBAN FANTASY
11:30 AM THURSDAY: What happens when there’s no happy ending to wrap up the book? Urban fantasy authors discuss the nuts and bolts of writing a series: how to build a world, plan a story arc and keep the romance alive book after book.
Captain: Richelle Mead Panelists: Mario Acevedo, Ilona Andrews, Jocelynn Drake, Jeaniene Frost, Mark Henry, Jaye Wells

Then, later, this…

PARANORMAL: HUMOR IN PARANORMALS
2:30 THURSDAY: Timing is everything, even when dealing with the undead and uncivilized. From zombies to werewolves to vampires and everything in between, these authors will talk about their writing strategies to make you laugh out loud.
Captain: Patrice Michelle Panelists: Michele Bardsley, Dakota Cassidy, MaryJanice Davidson, Mark Henry, Judi McCoy

Holy crap! MaryJanice!! I love those Queen Betsy books. Serious.

After that’s done, it’s all debauchery and juggling balls (both mine–I’m not immune to the current tea bagging craze that’s sweeping the nation–and the ones where people will undoubtedly dance horribly). I’m not planning on dancing, but get enough hooch down my craw and you never know what I’ll do. That said, as you can imagine, the bar will be our primary hang, so make sure to stop by and slum it with us.

Friday night! Right after the Vampire Ball, I’m going to be one of 6 authors invited to the librarian/bookseller slumber party. I was totally honored and have even had a couple of meetings with local librarians to get some input on topics. After that though, I’m imagining lapdances and accidental bedwetting (okay, maybe not so accidental, I’m bringing a bowl of warm water and if that doesn’t work–did I mention I’ll be drinking heavily?). That’s at 11:30 until 1:00 AM. I’m going out tonight to get some pajama bottoms. They do NOT want me coming in what I normally sleep in (an allergy fugue and a pee hard-on). I’m just trying to protect them. Because I’m kind.

Saturday is the Big Ass Book Fair with 300 authors signing everything from books to buttholes (actually I won’t sign an anus, some might though). I’ll sign just about anything else though. Just about. Don’t make me list them.

After that, it’s anyone’s guess. I will tell you that there’s been talk of a Deadline Dames/League of Reluctant Adults Mash-Up. I think we might be roaming the halls like a street gang, hopped up on speed and crackin’ skulls.

You never can tell. Have a good week folks!