Man! I was supposed to post my Save Amanda Feral Contest Winners on Monday. Yet, here it’s Friday. A big HUGE thanks to everyone that helped to spread the word and ponied up some bucks for the books.  Keep up the good work. I’m starting to hear stuff back about the campaign. I’m almost hopeful!

Without further ado, the winners of the Battle of the Network Zombies ARCs are…

Lisa Kersten and Velvet!!!

So there you be. I’m going to set up another contest soon. But until then you know what you can get me for X-mas? A preorder of Happy Hour of the Damned (mmpb) from your favorite retailer (online or not).  Only you can help Save Amanda Feral!!!

And remember, the deal with University Books (outlined here) is ongoing, if you want any of the books personalized, including the upcoming Battle of the Network Zombies, just hit me up and I’ll scoot on over there.

Now.

Tomorrow is apparently the biggest shopping day of the year and I hate to leave you without a shopping list, so here’s one…

I’ll leave you with a question…

Does anyone hate those twitter summaries that show up on livejournal? I just started doing mine, but I tried to get it to collect them like a series of random thoughts. I thought all the ones with @replies wouldn’t be there, but you know how that goes.

I talked to Duane at University Books, while signing a smutifying a stack of your orders, according to the tall man, free shipping applies until this coming Friday the 11th. After that, you’ll have to pay to have your zombie smut reach your peeps by Christmas.

So…

I’m going to extend the Save Amanda Feral Contest until Monday the 14th! Get your entries in by Noon Pacific time and I’ll post the winner in the afternoon.

For full details on how to enter, click here.

I’ve been moping around this box of ARCs for over a month now, some have gone out for contest prizes and stuff, but the bulk of them are intended for book bloggers, reviewers and booksellers. So, why haven’t I sent them? One, it costs a lot. Two, I’m not sure how effective it is to send the book out to booksellers I don’t know personally. Kind of feels like I’m spamming them, and even when I do make a connection, there’s no assurance that attempt leads to orders.

Here’s an example. I was lucky enough to get a list of independent booksellers from a friend, and I sent out 50 copies to these folks last year for Road Trip of the Living Dead’s release, but this year at a convention, when I approached one of these booksellers who I’d made a concerted effort to contact and get an ARC into their hands, I found they hadn’t even ordered a token copy to have on hand for the con.  So I looked around at the other booksellers and found, or rather didn’t find, a single copy of either Happy Hour of the Damned or Road Trip of the Living Dead. Discouraging? Um yeah.  So the third reason I haven’t sent them out is, I’m pretty discouraged.

What’s worse is, I love independent book stores. Whenever I see one, I make a point to go in and check out their stock. 99% of the time, I don’t find my book and every time it happens, I’m discouraged. Every. Time.

I don’t mean for this post to be all doom and gloom, but I could certainly use some help folks.  A while back, I got my royalty statement for Happy Hour’s first year of sales (it takes 6 months before we authors get actual figures on sales, depending on the release date, longer). Before I even opened it, I knew it was not going to be good news. We’re all aware of slumping sales and such. Yes Romance and scifi/fantasy sales are favorable, but not for trade paperbacks priced at twice the cost of a mass market paperback. I’ve read tons of thoughts on the subject and the consensus is that the trade paperback format hobbles an urban fantasy novel. I believe it. Publishers don’t have a crystal ball, I know, and it takes a village to market a book and set a price and format and all that, but really, what I’m getting at is those numbers suuuuuuuuucked (yes, that’s an actual word).

It was about that time that my frequent blogging took a nose dive. I’d only started blogging as a suggestion from an editor I’d met at a conference, and yeah I enjoyed it, but the purpose was always supposed to be promotion. That’s, of course, rarely the case with me, since I seem to be much more interested in talking about zombie movies or mocking my neighbors, which in itself is promotion, I guess. But it all gets back to discouragement.  Or rather, how I deal with it.

It seems I don’t.  I back away.  I look for distractions. I try to forget that if Happy Hour did so poorly and was released before the bottom fell out of publishing where does that put the numbers for Road Trip? I also coauthor a screenplay, change my name and work on YA projects, but that’s a whole other conversation. A more hopeful one, but one I’m not going into publicly yet.

I hate feeling this way, let alone spewing it out on you guys. I tend to be pretty upbeat and I’ve really enjoyed the opportunities, friends and experiences that have come from being published, for the most part. I wouldn’t change a thing about the decisions I’ve made. But, the power of positive thinking only goes so far.

So where does all that leave me? Well, Happy Hour of the Damned is being giving a “second chance,” so to speak, as a mass market paperback, which comes out on January 23rd.  So Amanda gets a glossy version of the original cover and a welcome $6.99 cover price.  A month later, Battle of the Network Zombies comes out with a revisioned cover that’s more “graphic” and comic, which is fitting considering the graphic sex and comic stuff inside.  If, and I’m hoping that’s a generous “if,” Happy Hour does well in the new format, we might just see some more Amanda books. I’m hoping this is the case, I love my editor and I love Amanda, but the profit and loss statement overrides any lovefests.

What can you do?  Save Amanda Feral!!!

Get the word out!

Here’s the deal. I’ll give up two ARCs of Battle of the Network Zombies, some swag and other such stuff, TBD (sometimes that means really cool stuff). And all you have to do is two of the following…

1. Post a brief review of Happy Hour of the Damned or Road Trip of the Living Dead on Amazon/B&N/Borders and then let me know in a comment to this thread (either here or on livejournal). To date, Road Trip only has 9 reviews on Amazon. NINE!!!

2. Pre-order the mmpb of Happy Hour of the Damned, or Battle of the Network Zombies, pick up a copy of Road Trip of the Living dead at the all new BARGAIN PRICE of $6.00 at Amazon, and email me a copy of the confirmation. Already have yours? They make great gifts for your snarky friends. If you don’t have snarky friends, then get some.

3. Blog about the upcoming releases with links to the pre-order pages and tell me all about it. Feel free to use the Save Amanda Feral banner to link back to this post.

4. Order a signed and personalized copy of any of the books from the University Bookstore in Seattle. On the payment page, simply input, “Please send me a personalized signed copy (or copies). Contact Duane Wilkins and author for arrangements.” In the comment box and I’ll come out and write something snarky in your book and get it back to you ASAP. Again, let me know that’s in the works in this thread and we’ll be good to go.

Contest is closed!

Winners Lisa Kersten and Velvet.

Goooooo!!!!

For many, Black Friday is a day to be dreaded. A day when average fun of the mill Americans turn into demonic consumerists. After all, wasn’t it just last year that some poor soul was trampled outside a Walmart on their righteous quest for cheap electronics? A martyr, I say.

I, myself, am a diehard Black Friday shopper. I have my flak jacket ready, my butterfly knife ready to whip out and my credit card warming by the stove. We’ll be heading out at 2:00 A.M (no shit), not-so-fresh from our tryptophan comas and snarling for deals. Old Navy opens at 3:00 and promises Lego Rock Band free with purchase. From there it’s a melee. I’m planning on live twittering with photos, so if you’re not following, you’ll miss out on the horrors, the blood, the tears and the laughter.

But now, to ease your Black Friday shopping plans a bit, here are the…

BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING LISTS FOR PEOPLE WHO DON’T SUCK!!!

So there you have it. Everything you need to fill your holidays with cheer.

Happy Thanksgiving Y’all!!!!

Then there’s only one place you should be tonight…

I’ll be emceeing the event and mingling and sucking up 15th Ave. Coffee and Tea’s FREE wifi like a hooker on a dick.

If you don’t come, how can we make love?

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Also. It’s been a good 30 days for gifts.  Let’s peruse the shelf shall we?

Rachel from Bitten By Books sent this sweet ass stein as an award for winning World’s Funniest Paranormal Author in their yearly poll.  It was really excited to just be nominated, but it was way MORE exciting to win!!! So suck it!!!

In fact, so excited was I that I did a little thank you vlog for Rachel which you can see over there.

Or just click on this little youtube shiz right here…

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Also, a couple of weeks ago, I attended an old friend’s (well she’s not old, in the sense the neither am I) book club meeting and talked to the chicas about all sorts of foul sex acts, read them a story and got photographed in an expression that I can only describe as goggling. Awesome picture of the gin and tonic (w/dry ice) I was slurping up, though (make sure to click on the photo to hit up the photographer’s website).

As a present for attending, Connie (said friend) got me this awesome zombie painting…

Anyways. That’s all I got.

Back to work before I head out for the gig in Seattle!

Ciao!

Week of Tuesday 11/3

Week of Tuesday 10/27

Am I forgetting anybody? Cuz that would likewise suck!

While I’m not certain what I have to share is actually scary, I know that it does squick some people out. So a warning, this snippet involves dental chairs and tools, eyes being pried open and language.

From Happy Hour of the Damned (coming January 31st in mass market paperback–yay!!!)…

On the screen, Wendy had stopped struggling with her ropes. Her head hung down, the back of her skull even with her arched shoulders. She heaved occasionally, sobbing, I suspected. It was torturous to watch. I shut my eyes.
“No, no, no, lover. This next part is very important.”
I gargled dissent.
A clanking on the tray, and he drew a mechanism that looked like an eyelash curler. The tool had two flexible metal strips, attached to a pair of tong-like handles. Shane demonstrated that with a squeeze, the bands sprang into an oval shape. The sight of them blurred as he brought them closer to my left eye.
“Don’t move now. I’d hate to slice it open, eyes are quite messy and pop like grapes with even a minor pressure from something this sharp.” He squeezed the tongs lightly and they made an ominous, click-click, to accentuate his point. Shane was the worst kind of sadist, the cliché. He just had to describe the events, self-gratification barely hidden behind the wavy lip of a Peanuts character. I hope you never meet up with his type. The spank and nibble sadists are fun, occasionally, just to change things up. But this guy was totally out of control.
I howled with frustration and pain, as he pressed the slivers between my clenched lids and pried my eye open. I felt a horrible scraping inside the socket. I forced myself to look straight ahead, lest he get sloppy and blind me. The corners stretched to the point of tearing. I relaxed a bit for a second one, for fear of cutting my eye in the struggle.
With both hostile appendages adhered, I had no choice but to watch the screen. A person entered the dingy room. A woman, in a white shirt, black pants, draped in a green logo apron, one of Persephone’s Starbucks death goons, strode up to the chair, circled, and positioned herself behind Wendy.
She must be mortified, I thought. Wendy prefers the upper hand, in every situation. She’s in control, even when she follows my ass around. Her suggestions are always welcome, and appropriate for the situation. She’s my Betty Crocker Ho, and she was in trouble. I fought with the belts again. Every part of my body tense and probably compressing the empty honeycomb of blood vessels, collapsing them.
The barista wrapped her right arm around the top of Wendy’s head, pulling it backwards and lengthening the bound woman’s throat, exposing it to vulnerability. My mind dragged a memory from its fat trap. Hostage footage from Al Jazeera. Serrated knives and beheadings. I tried to shake my head as though cold, frozen, to vibrate my eyes and blur the image, disrupt my suspicion of where this was all leading.
The woman drew up her left hand and pointed a scraggy unmanicured nail, toward Wendy’s cheek. She continued until the nail was touching the hollow of a dimple. Then, she started scratching, slowly at first, lightly, a caress. The victim’s pail skin issued a deep purple hue and Wendy began to mouth the word ‘no,’ barely audible, over and over, like a chant.
The scratching became more direct, always at the same spot, until the already loose covering gave way and a gash lit into the dead cheek. The woman began to pick at the tear exposing grayed mealy muscle. She looked up at the camera, and instructed Wendy to do the same, which she did. I hoped she was drugged; her eyes were sanded with defeat.
Then, the unthinkable.
The torturer pinched onto the tear and slowly pulled at it, until it gave, releasing a long ribbon of skin from Wendy’s face. A scream echoed from the speaker as the ribbon, as if reaching the end of the Christmas roll, caught hold of some stronger attachment. The woman looked down at her work, wound the strip of skin around her finger and jerked it taught; it released with a further pull.

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Now go on and read some further Halloween snippets!

Anya Bast
Eliza Gayle
Juliana Stone
Michelle Pillow
Lauren Dane
Moira Rogers
TJ Michaels
Jody Wallace
Ashley Ladd
Kelly Maher
Shelli Stevens
Shelley Munro
Mandy Roth
Mark Henry
Savannah Foley

You ever notice how writers talk about the soundtracks to their books? Yeah? Me neither. Actually, I was lucky enough to include playlists inside my Amanda Feral books. Those songs that seemed to hit the right tone for the scene and so on.

Well, I’m not writing Amanda right now, but I am writing something (sh! It’s supa dupa sekrits). And it’s a bit softer, darker, and ethereal–that’s all you’re getting. I was lucky enough to recently sell a story set in the world of this new project into an anthology, so I’m really excited about it. But that’s beside the point. What really prompted this post is that I have the perfect song to play after the big opening scene. Over the opening titles, so to speak and here it is now…

Black Balloon by The Kills. Geniuses. Totally an earworm (for me at least).

Speaking of film…or video…or vlogging, I’m going to be at Bitten By Books on Friday chatting up anyone who’ll listen and giving away all sorts of crap while I upset the easily offendable. Won’t you join me? Go ahead and head over to the site and RSVP, that’ll give you 25 extra entries into the contest AND you get to see the all new promo vlog for the event! While you’re there, vote for the fave paranormal author of the year. I have a couple of suggestions, my buddies Richelle Mead and Michelle Rowen, just sayin’.

See you Friday and let the weather have its way with you (see? see?).

I’ve posted about our Halloween decorations over at The League of Reluctant Adults My first post in a long time, so go on over there and be anything but gentle.

Now I’m so exhausted, I think I need a nap, or a long bath with a good book.  In this case, Ann Aguirre’s BLUE DIABLO. I really want to kick my reading up a notch, I’m so slow lately, it’s bugging me. Of course, I’ve been sick too and that doesn’t help. Oh well, that book isn’t going to read itself.

Speaking of good books, did you all get a chance to pick up your weekly shopping list? 

If not, then here you go…

Holy crap, has it been three weeks since I’ve blogged? Twitter really is killing blogging, as a friend of mine (Leah Hodge) was so correct in pointing out.  So I feel like I need to catch up with y’all. What I’ve been doing, what you’ve been doing. All that shit. So I’ve come up with this handy little list (feel free to leave lists of your very own in the comments).

1. Writerin‘: The hyperviolent/uncomfortably sexy screenplay Mario Acevedo and I have been toiling over is finally in the hands of my agent for a read and possibly some notes. So our collective stomach is gurgling with the kind of horror that macerates beef faster than a kitchenaid grinder. You pray that they’ll love your deformed perverted babies, but they don’t always. *sob*

2. Watchin’ Movies: Got some free passes to see Zombieland, which was hilarious and awesome and brilliant (with the most amazing celebrity cameo since . And this past weekend we took in Pandorum with Caitlin and had a blast with that space horror shit. Loved both of them in surprising ways. Last night we managed to not slit our wrists while watching the Ian Curtis biopic Control. Depressing but well acted and beautifully shot. It’s Curtis’s fault the story will drag you down, but the musical bits are genius!

3. More Writerin’: I’ve started working on both ends of the genre fiction spectrum. I’m talking, of course, about YA AND erotica (and not YA erotica, which does not go over well with the carpool, afterschool activity set).  So I sold a couple of stories and one of them is YA from the same world as my novel that’s nearing completion. The problem is, the third Amanda book is–how shall I put this–naughtier than the other two and really created the need for a pseudonym so…now I have one. I’m going to hold off on revealing it just yet, though. Not sure why. Just, gonna.  The erotica project is looking like some HARDCORE fun though. I’ve never written something that was, at its core, a romance, so it’s exciting. I’m co-authoring on this one, so we’ll see what the other person thinks of the opening. Could be a complete bust, you never know. Or maybe it’s pants-stainingly sexy. We’ll see.

4. Gettin’ Interviewed: Sat down with Seattle Geekly for a little chat about zombies, psychotherapy and being a complete burnout. They’ve got an awesome podcast that you can subscribe to on iTunes or at their site. In this episode, you’ll also get to hear Cherie Priest detail her steampunkness!

I think that’s about it. My brain’s hurting from the effort of writing more than 140 characters (thanks twitter) and the only cure for that is some Californication!

What y’all up to?